Random Madness: Deviated Septum

It’s not uncommon for two or even several games, and even games and movies to share sound effects.

One of the first times I came across this sort of thing was back in the 1990’s. It was Duke Nukem 3D, and one of the more infamous enemies in the game caught my attention – the pig cop. Literally mutated police officers of the LAPD (or LARD in-game), they looked quite comical in their stocky build, but you wouldn’t mess with them all the same. They packed shotguns that could rip you a new one with a single blast up close.

They also made grunting noises one would almost certainly expect from pigs. The most telling sound effect was when a pig cop actually sighted you and let out a roar that has since been proven to belong to a cougar or something similar. I know this from hearing the same sound when watching documentaries and the animal channels on DSTV.

How coincidental it was then to play Quake, released later the same year, and see (or more accurately, hear) that the same sound effect was used – this time when one of the ogres with a chainsaw and a grenade launcher saw you. He too grunted and made a noise that made it easy to tell when he was around.

So imagine the horror I experienced as a young boy when I lived at home with my eldest brother. He also grunted a lot and made noises that reminded me so much of these two videogame characters. Especially when he was in the shower – he would roar and clear his throat loudly. I even had dreams that I was living with one of those ogres from Quake. One of those dreams involved going into the kitchen and being confronted by this ogre who then chopped me up into pieces with his chainsaw and served my head up on a plate with peas and carrots. I’m sure I’ve written about that before in the Keen Dreams ® series though…

*goes off to check*

Nope, hasn’t been published as far as I can tell, but I could have sworn I wrote about it. Anyway.

In any case, I think I know the common problem that these characters all share. It’s a deviated septum. My brother has it and makes all these grunting and throat clearing noises to this day that are most annoying, to be honest. He refuses to have surgery to have it fixed. Luckily it’s rather easy to get rid of the irritating grunting and carrying on with the pig cop and the ogre – just blow them to bits with a rocket launcher.

This has been yet another instalment in the weird and wacky series known as Random Madness ®. It didn’t make sense to you, and it wasn’t supposed to either. If you read it and shook your head – that’s good. That was the ultimate goal.

Random Madness: Deviated Septum

RoboDuke: The Story of RoboCop and Duke Nukem

When Duke Nukem II came out in 1993 when 2D sidescrollers were being quickly replaced by pseudo-3D shooters like Doom, we saw Duke Nukem in a firing range taking shots at a target. This was a scene that was in homage to RoboCop so they say – a film and character not often associated with Duke Nukem along with all his other pop culture references and inspirations.

Joe Siegler did the voice for the character who uttered the phrase: “I’m back!” which is obviously a reference to Terminator 2: Judgment Day.

Duke Nukem’s name is often said to have been used in the first game and later changed to Duke Nukum later on after it was discovered that there was an action figure with the same name. But it was found out later that this character’s name was not trademarked and so Apogee went back to using the name Nukem instead.

But where did they get the name Nukem in the first place? RoboCop. If you’ve seen the film and watched through you’ve have noticed a scene where a TV commercial is seen, which depicts a family playing a modernised boardgame of sorts. This game turned out to be called “Nukem”. And the font used was similar to how it would appear in the early Duke Nukem games. Probably later, Duke was used because it’s not only a cool sounding name, but it rhymes with the surname too.

So this is just an interesting thing I thought I would bring to your attention. Hell, it could even be argued that Duke even looked a bit like Alex J. Murphy in the film. Maybe that’s why he started wearing the sunglasses.

RoboDuke: The Story of RoboCop and Duke Nukem

Random Madness: Micro Doom

This post marks the return of Random Madness here on AAA. I had some inspiration recently.

Windows XP has been around for a long time. I was just reading on Joystiq the other day in an article where it was said that it is in fact ten years old as of last month. After so many years of using Windows XP myself, I recently made the jump to using another version of Windows. On the laptop I acquired recently, I have installed on it Windows Vista. True, it’s not the latest Windows, or the best. Some call it the black sheep in the family.

Anyway, I had read about a feature that was first introduced in Vista that obviously wasn’t in any previous Windows that we know of: User Account Control, or UAC. Basically it ensures that programs run only when you want them to and that any sort of malware that attacks your system doesn’t have full control over what goes on, even if you’re running an administrator account.

Now the gamer in me instantly thought of something else when I read that acronym. The UAC is instrumental in the storyline of the Doom series. It stands for Union Aerospace Corporation. Now while the UAC’s background was only really expanded upon in Doom 3, it existed all ready in the original games in the early-mid 90’s.

Now knowing my inquisitive mind like I do, my thoughts started to wander if there was some sort of link or is it just coincidence? This wouldn’t be the only time there was a possible link between id Software’s Doom and Microsoft. More than a decade and a half ago, Bill Gates promoted Windows 95 by superimposing himself in to Doom and blasting some zombies. Doom was originally programmed to work in MS-DOS when released in 1993, but was still massively popular even years later.

Maybe this UAC feature was an homage of sorts to Doom. Windows UAC tries to limit malware attacks, much like Doom’s UAC tried in all Doom games to date to prevent the demonic invasion from hell – ultimately (get it? The Ultimate Doom?) it failed every time.

But seriously, don’t quote me on this. It’s all rubbish. Interesting to think of, though.

Random Madness: Micro Doom

Fallout 3: Chicken Licken [Random Madness]

I saw this clever advert on TV recently for Chicken Licken – a local restaurant and takeout chain.

It involved a family who in 1994, decided that because of the fears surrounding the upcoming election at the time and the changing of the guard from one government to the the other, along with the end of apartheid and the beginning of democracy (look up South African history to find out more), that it would be safer to move out of their house… and move underground; exactly underneath the plot in a bunker or vault of sorts.
They lived there for the next sixteen years, living off of nothing but canned food until one day, the father in the family got sick and tired of the living conditions and left to go topside – the first time in over a decade and a half.

After a few days, the son, now grown up and a young adult, decided that his father had been away for too long. Fearing the worst, he packed his bags and went up onto the surface himself to try and track his father down.

A family who has been underground might expect the world to be a very different place – and it was. As the son emerged from the depths of the underground, he found himself in… a Chicken Licken restaurant. The place had been built where the old house used to be.
After looking around in awe for awhile, he locked eyes with his father who was sitting down at one of the tables, hogging out on loads of chicken pieces, after having to put up with viennas and canned spam for a long time.

“Pa?” the son uttered.

The father stopped chewing ravenously for a short while to say, “Se vir ma ek’s nou daar.” (Tell mom I’ll be there now).

It was one of the more amusing ads on TV, but it took a few showings for me to make connections. It’s obvious that the story here and the one in Fallout 3 are quite similar; apart from the time frame and the conditions which lead to the father leaving. But it did involve living in a vault, with the father leaving after a time, and the son following him.

Of course in Fallout 3 the player character had never been to the surface until the day he went looking for his dad, James, whereas the son nicknamed “Boetie” in the ad was born on the surface but left with his family to move into the vault at about the age of three or four. When he emerged however in 2010, he was about the same age as the player character in Fallout 3: nineteen.

Coincidence? Interesting, nonetheless.

Fallout 3: Chicken Licken [Random Madness]

Paul the Octopus May be Hiding a Secret [Random Madness]

To many, Paul is known to be a common octopus which hatched in 2008 in Weymouth, Dorset, UK, and now resides at Sea Life Centre in Oberhausen, Germany. He’s become famous for his accurate predictions of soccer match results. This has led to him being called a psychic octopus.

There have been may theories as to how he picked the winning teams during the Euro 2008 and the 2010 World Cup. Some even say that it’s not the same creature, and that the real Paul died.

But little do they know. The truth is that Paul has been hiding a deep dark secret.
Paul is a psychic cephalopod, but rather than a common octopus, he is actually better known as an Octabrain.

Octabrains were discovered years ago, back in the mid 90’s. They often inhabit water or areas near water, although they have the ability to travel from these places and onto land, as they can levitate above the ground. They are referred to as triclopses, which means they have three eyes, and also possess some wicked sharp teeth, as well as tusks or sharp mandibles. They have little need for their tentacles, but still they remain.

 
               
Images of an Octabrain, first sighted in the mid 90’s.

They have the ability, in addition to biting their prey, to attack with psychokinesis – hurling orbs of harmful energy at their victims, which serve to stun or even kill. This likely came about because of the large size of their brains. They might have evolved from another species, or may possibly be extraterrestrial.
Contrary to opinions which say that Paul will die soon, Octabrains have a longer natural lifespan than mere common octopuses, unless they happen to be blown up by a rocket propelled grenade, which would effectively mean their premature demise.

Paul has retired from his divination duties and now seeks retirement. There has been talk by some that he should experience what it’s like to be out in the ocean once before he passes away, seeing as he’s been in captivity since day one. Others warn that it would be dangerous for this very reason that he be released.
They’re right.



Images of a more mature, bigger version of an Octabrain, first sighted in 2007.

If Paul is released, it could mean catastrophic death for many, as Octabrains’ favourite food is human flesh – not mussels, like some would have you believe. He’s also nowhere near fully grown, as Octabrains can reach enormous sizes, as was seen in sightings in recent years – as big if not bigger than say, a giant squid.
It would be the biggest mistake they could ever make if he’s released. For goodness sake, if you read this, spread the word, and KEEP PAUL IN CAPTIVITY.

At least if he continues to grow while in his tank, and develops sentience, and more powerful abilities like psychokinesis, he may more likely be subdued and eliminated, and less likely to join up and plot world domination with all the other Octabrains that were flushed down the toilet and are now lurking in the sewers.

Paul the Octopus May be Hiding a Secret [Random Madness]

Ever Noticed How Clint Eastwood Sounds Like a Ghoul From Fallout 3 Nowadays?

       
                                 They even look similar. Damn…

Clint Eastwood has never been known for having anything but a deep, raspy, even gravelly voice. But as he’s gotten older, like in Gran Torino, which I saw the other night, I couldn’t help but think that Clint Eastwood reminds me of two different video game character voices.

One would be that of the male Ghouls, basically like Zombies, from Fallout 3. And the other would be the Dunmer, or Dark Elves, from The Elder Scrolls series, particularly Morrowind, I’m thinking. This is probably because it’s likely the same voice actor, since both game were made by Bethesda.

The guy can’t help it. He is old and all now [nearly eighty now], and I’ve enjoyed his films over the years, especially Gran Torino. But who wouldn’t want to see Clint doing some voice work for the next Fallout or Elder Scrolls game before he’s gone for good?

Have a listen to this clip I recorded from Gran Torino – some of the best bits – and see, or hear, and tell me what you think. While you’re listening, just picture Gob or some Ghoul from Fallout 3. I would’ve gotten a clip of one the Ghouls as well for a comparison, but I didn’t get around to it. I uninstalled the game you see.

Gran Torino Clint Sample [945 KB]

Ever Noticed How Clint Eastwood Sounds Like a Ghoul From Fallout 3 Nowadays?

Vuzu Adverts Sound Conspicuously Like GLaDOS From Portal

I was quite amused the other night while on Vuzu [Channel 123 on DSTV] to hear a type of voice I found recognisable: GLaDOS from Portal. It wasn’t exactly the same, and it lacked the usual dark humour, but the way it sounded was more or less the same.
Have a listen. Then listen to GlaDOS.
I mean, I can’t really think why they would do this other than trying to be funny or creative. There are gaming shows on the channel, like PlayR, The Verge, and more recently, the new additions like The Ginx Files and GameFace, originally British shows, presented by Julia Hardy.
But the strange GLaDOS-sounding voice was talking more about entertainment this time.
Maybe Portal had more of an influence than I thought. Maybe I’m just paranoid. Yes, probably.

Vuzu Adverts Sound Conspicuously Like GLaDOS From Portal

Mortal Kombat Tribute in Dexter Series [Random Madness]

It’s common knowledge to most of us, apart from Ed Boon, Mortal Kombat co-creator, who only recently found out and tweeted about it last month, that in Dexter, Dexter’s father is none other than James Remar, the man who played Raiden in Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, the second MK film [also known as the cr@p MK movie].

So most of us know about that, but I couldn’t help but smile when, in series 4 of Dexter, which we’re currently watching here in SA, Dexter was complaining about lack of sleep as usual, you could hear his baby crying in the background.

If you paid attention, and if you’ve played the Mortal Kombat games before, you would have figured out that the sound was the same as the sound of the baby crying when a fighter executed the babality finisher on an opponent, which I believe debuted in MK II.

Raiden wins.

 

Mortal Kombat Tribute in Dexter Series [Random Madness]

What Happened to the Old Mouse Ball Ring?

Do you remember once upon a time when we all used those mice with the ball inside, and the ring covering the whole that you put it in, which you locked by twisting? Do you remember how dirt and dust used to get lodged in there and make the mouse so sluggish that you had to open up the mouse, clean it out and then out it all back together?

Nowadays we’ve all moved on to using optical mice and wireless desktops and all that, so it’s been a while since those days. I don’t think I’ve used one of those “analogue” mice in at least 5 or 6 years. And I’m thankful for it, believe me. I’ve looked for one I might have used at one time, but I think I donated it to a museum or something. Or else I just tossed it in the bin.

But whatever happened to my old nemesis, the mouse ball ring thing? I’ve broken at least a couple over the years by slamming the mouse down when it became unresponsive, either because of the dust or because the cable got caught under the keyboard or the tower. There were times when it just came undone all by itself, and the mouse ball rolled off the desk and crossed the room, never to be found again, until it was nearly sucked up by the vacuum cleaner.

Well, I think I found out the answer. It’s been sitting on top of my DVD spindles for the last few years. I just opened up a new spindle of DVDs to make a backup the other day, and there it was- the ring thing fell on the ground and just sat there. That image of the old bugger when it was at the bottom of my mouse just flashed in to my mind right then and there. It looked exactly the same except for the fact that it had lost its legs- those things that helped lock the ball inside the mouse. Besides that, nothing much had changed.

Its new purpose was to stop the DVDs from falling off the spindle. And it fails miserably at this too, just like it did at everything else in life.


There you are! *STOMP*

By the way, is it correct to say "mice"? I mean, it’s one mouse, two mice? Surely the same rules apply? I once heard a woman call the plural of mouse “mices”. Right…

What Happened to the Old Mouse Ball Ring?

What the Hell is That Green Thing in The Sims?

It’s been there since The Sims 1, and has been there through every expansion and addon. Then there was the sequel, The Sims 2, and every expansion for that one too. Then this year saw The Sims 3 and the brand new The Sims 3: World Adventures.

All the while, I’ve never really known what the hell that green thing is hanging over a sim’s head. I read on the official Sims 3 Twitter account that it’s called a “plumb bob”.

In The Sims 2, it even changed colour from red, orange, yellow, right through to white. So what the hell is a plumb bob?

I was talking to my brother, and all the while I was playing with this thing, a led item hanging on a thread, which almost looked like a spinning top. It turns out that is a plumb bob.

Also spelled as plumb-bob, or as The Sims 3 wiki spells it: PlumbBob. Some even call it a "plummet".

Mystery solved.

What the Hell is That Green Thing in The Sims?

Duke Nukem Sounds like Bruce Willis When he Falls to his Death

I love listening to game sound effects and voices. I’ve often unpacked zip files, searched game program files, and downloaded them.

I googled to try and get some Duke Talk wavs for Duke Nukem 3D recently, because I’ve got the old VOC files which only work with WinAmp and not Windows Media Player, which I use more often. Yeah, I know I could just extract the contents out of the DN3D GRP file, but then I’d still have to convert them myself, so I took a shortcut. Besides, not all the VOC files work.

Anyway, I found a number of files that I haven’t ever heard before, which possibly weren’t used in the game. Among some of the best are the death screams, especially when Duke falls from a great height to his death. That one I have heard a lot and I’ve always thought that this one sounded like Jon St. John’s pretty convincing rendition of one of Bruce Willis’s screams, like in Die Hard. It isn’t too hard to imagine why, when you think that Die Hard and John McClane were both an inspiration for Duke's character. There are two scenes in the fourth episode of Duke Nukem 3D Atomic Edition- one where you see a plaque on the desk in the police station which has J. McClane written on it, and when Duke says the famous line from Die Hard:

“Yippee Ki-yay, Motherf@cker!”

Duke Nukem Sounds like Bruce Willis When he Falls to his Death

Airwick Elephant 3D: I Don’t Have Time

I know this will be weird, but that’s what I’m like after all.

I always see this advert on the TV that has this elephant in it, advertising Airwick Freshmatic, this air freshener product. But what’s so funny to me is that the first line that this elephant utters includes the phrase, “I don’t have time”, which automatically triggers this memory in my brain about the line that Duke Nukem says in Duke Nukem 3D when you press the use key on the Duke Nukem II pinball machine in the first level of L.A Meltdown, “Hollywood Holocaust”:

“Hmmm. Don’t have time to play with myself”.

Weird. And it sounds just a bit like Jon St. John, except more feminine. Or Maybe that's my imagination.

Airwick Elephant 3D: I Don’t Have Time