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2010/07/13

Paul the Octopus May be Hiding a Secret [Random Madness]

Paul the Octopus during 2010 FIFA World CupTo many, Paul is known to be a common octopus which hatched in 2008 in Weymouth, Dorset, UK, and now resides at Sea Life Centre in Oberhausen, Germany. He’s become famous for his accurate predictions of soccer match results. This has led to him being called a psychic octopus.

There have been may theories as to how he picked the winning teams during the Euro 2008 and the 2010 World Cup. Some even say that it’s not the same creature, and that the real Paul died.

But little do they know. The truth is that Paul has been hiding a deep dark secret.
Paul is a psychic cephalopod, but rather than a common octopus, he is actually better known as an Octabrain.

Octabrains were discovered years ago, back in the mid 90’s. They often inhabit water or areas near water, although they have the ability to travel from these places and onto land, as they can levitate above the ground. They are referred to as triclopses, which means they have three eyes, and also possess some wicked sharp teeth, as well as tusks or sharp mandibles. They have little need for their tentacles, but still they remain.

 Lameduke_octabrainOctabrain
               
Images of an Octabrain, first sighted in the mid 90’s.

They have the ability, in addition to biting their prey, to attack with psychokinesis – hurling orbs of harmful energy at their victims, which serve to stun or even kill. This likely came about because of the large size of their brains. They might have evolved from another species, or may possibly be extraterrestrial.
Contrary to opinions which say that Paul will die soon, Octabrains have a longer natural lifespan than mere common octopuses, unless they happen to be blown up by a rocket propelled grenade, which would effectively mean their premature demise.

Paul has retired from his divination duties and now seeks retirement. There has been talk by some that he should experience what it’s like to be out in the ocean once before he passes away, seeing as he’s been in captivity since day one. Others warn that it would be dangerous for this very reason that he be released.
They’re right.

dnfshot 1Octabrain1

Images of a more mature, bigger version of an Octabrain, first sighted in 2007.

If Paul is released, it could mean catastrophic death for many, as Octabrains’ favourite food is human flesh – not mussels, like some would have you believe. He’s also nowhere near fully grown, as Octabrains can reach enormous sizes, as was seen in sightings in recent years – as big if not bigger than say, a giant squid.
It would be the biggest mistake they could ever make if he’s released. For goodness sake, if you read this, spread the word, and KEEP PAUL IN CAPTIVITY.

At least if he continues to grow while in his tank, and develops sentience, and more powerful abilities like psychokinesis, he may more likely be subdued and eliminated, and less likely to join up and plot world domination with all the other Octabrains that were flushed down the toilet and are now lurking in the sewers.
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